Motherhood is a gift. I’ve been fortunate enough to experience this amazing gift twice and have only recently realized that each experience is extremely gratifying, unique and different from the other. I’ve always heard that each child is different but I never understood that each child molds you as a mother. What follows in the rest of this post are my own thoughts on motherhood, on mothering and on life as a mother.
It is true that when you become a mother, you relinquish your previous position as the center of your own universe to your child. I never thought of myself as a selfish person but admit to having an incredibly difficult time relinquishing my previous life. Perhaps I wasn’t ready to become a mother or perhaps some people never are. I don’t like the unknown and I don’t like change. You can’t describe motherhood to anyone until they themselves experience it. The truth, the scary truth is that you have to take that plunge, to trust yourself, your partner, your family, and embrace the unknown. There is never a right time either, you’ll never have your fill of vacations, of glasses of wine and of sleeping in on the weekend.
But I’ve come to realize that I don’t want my fill of any of those things if that means that I don’t get to see toothless smiles, morning cuddles and hear little feet stomping across the hall into my room on a Saturday morning.
As I said earlier in the post, each child is different and each child molds you as a mother. Bringing Sophia into our lives I can only describe as a jarring shock to all my senses. Who was this little being who cried day in and day out? She did nothing by the book and I remember baby blues hitting me like a pile of rocks. Fast forward almost three years and Sophia still doesn’t do anything by the book; she doesn’t sleep the night, she gets very motion sick, and she is not the best eater. But she talks, plays, sings, draws and dances. She is a little adult wrapped in a beautiful petite package.
In contrast, bringing Eliza into our lives was a much easier experience. For one, I no longer had to give up anything… I’d given it up three years prior. I am not sure what Eliza is really like, not yet anyways, but I am certain that she will be different and so will I. I am more relaxed, more in control and happy with where I am at this point in my life.
Children are a great equalizer; They help break down your life into the very basics. Every child should be wanted, loved and cherished despite or perhaps because of the lessons you learn as a result of rearing them.
Oh honey! This is beautiful!!! And so very true. You can’t know before you actually do it. I’m I’m glad you started to find that second time around it’s kinda easier.
And about Sophia… don’t expect her ever to do anything by the book. Our boy is like that, it’s been almost 9 years, and he still does nothing by the book, so I guess this is how it will stay further on. At least it’s never boring 🙂