The countdown to the big 3-0 is continuing. It is becoming obvious that I am not getting all that much wiser and even if a little wiser, it isn’t happening overnight. Then again, this is a very honest, very personal post and I could be wiser, not be honest, and delete this post and just let it be.

Here are some of my realizations [ordered by most serious, to more lighthearted]:

  • Knowing my child is well and happy makes my day the best, and the opposite makes it the absolute worst regardless of what else goes on.
  • I realizeĀ that acceptance is hard.
  • I have the best husband because he makes me remember that what is most important is right at home, us, Sophia, our home, our life and the choices we make.
  • Love is when someone’s happiness is your happiness and if your happiness isn’t theirs … there is no love, and in fact, even no “like”.

And now let me be very honest: just a few minutes ago, this post had more content. I thought about posting it in all its elaborated glory, saving it in drafts and letting it linger there in the blog’s underbelly or posting it in this abbreviated form. I decided on this. I have no more words, just a sudden relief, release, sadness and immeasurable joy knowing that I love.


  1. Bubbie said:

    Not only do you love, dear Nadya, but you are loved by all who know you! The “big 30” is just another number….there are many more to come….they shouldn’t be traumatic, but a satisfaction and fulfillment of things accomplished! Love you, Bubbie

    March 11, 2013
    • Nadya said:

      Thank you, Bubbie. I know 3-0 is just another number… it isn’t the numbers, it is what you accomplish by the numbers and how you live your life and what choices you make that make it daunting.

      March 11, 2013

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