The countdown to the big 3-0 is continuing. It is becoming obvious that I am not getting all that much wiser and even if a little wiser, it isn’t happening overnight. Then again, this is a very honest, very personal post and I could be wiser, not be honest, and delete this post and just let it be.
Here are some of my realizations [ordered by most serious, to more lighthearted]:
- Knowing my child is well and happy makes my day the best, and the opposite makes it the absolute worst regardless of what else goes on.
- I realize that acceptance is hard.
- I have the best husband because he makes me remember that what is most important is right at home, us, Sophia, our home, our life and the choices we make.
- Love is when someone’s happiness is your happiness and if your happiness isn’t theirs … there is no love, and in fact, even no “like”.
And now let me be very honest: just a few minutes ago, this post had more content. I thought about posting it in all its elaborated glory, saving it in drafts and letting it linger there in the blog’s underbelly or posting it in this abbreviated form. I decided on this. I have no more words, just a sudden relief, release, sadness and immeasurable joy knowing that I love.