Category: <span>Life</span>

If 5 years ago, you asked me what a typical day in my life would be like, I would tell you something like this:

The ROSY picture

I get up in the morning while the baby sleeps and make a dash to the gym. I come home to find the baby just recently woke up and we cuddle. We go downstairs and I make breakfast while she plays on her own. We eat, go for a walk to the park where she runs around with her park friends. Then, after so much fresh air, we’re ready to come home, play, make lunch and nap. During her 2-2.5 hour nap, I catch up on chores, crafting, TV and reading. After the baby is up, we watch a few cartoons, have a snack. I would then make dinner while the baby happily played on her own. Everyone eats and Evan and I can converse about our days. Once tucked safely into bed at 8:00 PM, we can rest up and catch up before doing it all again.

The REAL picture

You see, we never really know what to expect from such major changes in life as parenthood. In reality, I don’t have time to go to the gym and Sophia doesn’t nap for 2 hrs, and she certainly doesn’t go to bed at 9. Without much further adieu…

Here’s a day in our life (Weekday Edition)

6:00 AM: I wake up, creep out of bed and shower

6:30 AM: I am showered, dressed and downstairs. I take my breakfast & cup of coffee to go and head out

7:00 AM: I am at work.

4:00 PM: I head out of work, rushing to get home at or before 5:00 PM. This is sometimes tricky as I have to stop and pick up necessities like raisins (Sophia’s favorite snack) or milk.

5:00 PM: I am home. Sophia has attached herself to me and I cannot do anything but play with her.

5:30 PM: Dinner-time. Sophia eats dinner and then watches cartoons while we eat dinner.

6:15 PM: One of us cleans up the kitchen and the other plays with her.

7:45 PM: Bottle

7:55 PM: Bath

8:20 PM: Books

8:30 PM: Cuddle/sooth to sleep

9:10 PM: Sophia finally asleep

9:10 PM: <begin parental rest time>

10:00 PM: I am beat, and head upstairs to bed.

Here’s a day in our life (Weekend Edition)

8:15 AM: We are all awake (we sleep until Sophia wakes us).

9:00 AM: Breakfast

10:00 AM: Play-time with Sophia | walk | activity like the zoo, going into town

— the parent who is not occupying Sophia is on cooking/cleaning/laundry duty —

11:30 AM: We are back home and are starting to prep lunch. Evan preps while I entertain/feed Sophia.

1:00 PM: I put Sophia down for a nap and quietly creep downstairs to craft, watch tv, read, … relax.

1:45 PM: Sophia is awake and I quickly decide that 45 minutes is not enough for her OR me. I pick her up and hold her for another half hour or so.

3:00 PM: Sophia is awake. Snack-time, cartoons, active play. We play hide and seek and we dance. Sophia loves to build with legos with papa and play with dolls with me. She asks papa to sing and asks him to draw Mickey Mouse. I am asked to draw butterflies. We read books and she likes to follow along with her finger as I read to her.

4:00 PM: We start to get dinner ready. Encourage Sophia to self-occupy while monitoring to make sure our walls aren’t her canvases for toddler art.

5:30 PM: Dinner-time. Sophia eats dinner and then watches cartoons while we eat dinner.

6:15 PM: One of us cleans up the kitchen and the other plays with her.

7:45 PM: Bottle

7:55 PM: Bath

8:20 PM: Books

8:30 PM: Cuddle/sooth to sleep

9:10 PM: Sophia finally asleep

9:10 PM: <begin parental rest time>

10:30 PM: I am beat, and head upstairs to bed. [I spare an extra half hour on a weekend … I would stay up longer but at 23 months, she still does not sleep the night].

All in all, there is no such thing as coming home and collapsing on the couch or piling up with a blanket, a pillow and General Hospital or any other tv show. Evan and I are very mucho on all the time. Things that I thought I could manage to get done, I cannot. That said,

I wouldn’t trade this for the world.

Transitions, transitions… the fall is creeping up on me. Sophia’s birthday is creeping up on me. I started a new project at work that has me working out of a new office. My new office is a pretty sleek research center where I get to collaborate with researchers from many different companies and it is exciting and nerve-wracking at the same time. I park at my old office and then walk half a mile to my new digs which I have lovingly termed “the salt mines” … :-). Everyone there is young, energized; it is rather invigorating as is the chilly walk at 7 in the morning.

I leave the house at 6:30 (AM) to beat the morning rush-hour. There is something peaceful about roads that are not filled with cars and drivers not possessed by road-rage. There are downsides to such an early departure — seeing my baby slumber peacefully and knowing that it will be 5 pm before I see her and she sees me for the first time today. I was thinking about that today and as exhausting as the last few weeks have been, and as difficult as it is to leave the house knowing I don’t get to say good morning to her as soon as she wakes up, I am so happy to get out.

I find it to be exhilarating to be around people, stop by a coffee shop playing mellow techno music and be inspired by everyone there who is talking, working, reading. Seems that I have escaped this fate.

My reunion with Sophia is that much sweeter when she finally sees me. Now-a-days, she has stories to [kind of] tell me — like what she did at the park and who she saw.

That is my view on the way to work…

For now, we forge ahead knowing that transitions can be good.

A very special woman in my life shared some “food for thought” with me this weekend — our Bubbie (Evan’s Bubbie really, but we share :)). There comes a time when we all realize that all the drama in our life is unnecessary and happiness is focusing on what is important — laughter and people who bring you joy. Along with the food for thought, there was an exercise to select eight women who I would consider sitting at my table through the journey that is …  life. I’m good at math and I quite understand that eight is too few, but alas, I started to think who I would want to continue my life’s journey with.

I won’t disclose my list … here. But I will highlight two women on my list — my aunt & my mother-in-law.

My aunt: I have three aunts as my mom has one sister and my dad has two. The person I mean in this case is my mom’s sister. Of all my aunts, she is closest to me because — well, distance, chance and because we are rather similar. She appreciates travel, art, literature and uniqueness. She is a very classy lady who has over the years maintained a well-appointed home where she raised a beautiful family. We celebrated my aunt’s 65th birthday this weekend. Evan, Sophia and I made the journey back to Delaware for the occasion and were happy to once again be surrounded by family. Her friends came from near and far and it was … well, it was how I would want to celebrate my 65th birthday.

My M-I-L: At first glance, you would think my mother-in-law and I are fairly different. I like modern and stark and travel and she likes comfortable, warm, abundant. However, if you dig a little deeper, you will see that we share some of the same values. We are both mama bear mamas and will do anything for our children, will probably overstep bounds of propriety to make sure our children are sated, happy. We both like to craft, too. My mother-in-law always helps me stretch beyond my comfort zone and try new things where Sophia is involved. For example, she convinced me to try cheerios when Sophia was six months old, maybe seven. I was convinced that Sophia would choke, but none-the-less, I gave it a go and we have never looked back or been happier with Cheerios. Every time we visit, or my in-laws visit, Sophia seems to have accomplished or tried something new. I am very glad that I have her in my life.

I like to surround myself with people who inspire me to aspire to something — it helps me grow as a person.

I sometimes wonder who reads my blog, what they get out of it and why they come back. I know many readers come back for the Friday Moments, while others like to read about our weekends and then quite a few of you read what I call opinion pieces like this one, and this one.

I am trying to balance the opinion posts as they’re not for everyone — quite literally. Usually, I have a message to convey and an intended audience — sometimes, just one person. The general idea transcends boundaries and is applicable to everyone.

I work in corporate America. Actually, I work in corporate America in a man’s world. As you read this, count how many women computer science researchers do you know?

One Mississippi,

Two Mississippi,

Three… All done?

Moving on. I have been doing this working in corporate America & in a man’s world for ten years. Before that, I did the going to school in a man’s college department … I encounter very few lady-folks. While that may intimidate some people, it doesn’t faze me and never really did. That doesn’t mean that there are not challenges in being the only or one of a few women on a team. I do have a few rules that help me establish and maintain relationships over the years.

These are my life rules. 1. do onto others as you like to have done onto you. 2. be honest … even if to your own detriment — honesty will set you free. 3. be nice 4. have sympathy and compassion. 5. don’t be jealous — if you want it, work hard for it. and finally — 5. show your [true] face.

Sounds very simple, but you would be surprised how many people are dishonest, mean-spirited and aren’t nice though they try to be on the outside. Those who aren’t nice, also have no compassion or sympathy because … oh who knows, why. They just don’t and those are the things that you are taught early in your childhood. As Dr. Seuss says “I do not know. Go Ask Your Mom[/Dad]!”.

I’ll try to stand by my words, my rules and teach Sophia compassion and honesty.

This evening marks the beginning of Rosh Hashanah. This is one of my most favorite holidays as it marks a new new year, a new beginning.

We are celebrating at  home in Maryland since the holiday falls in the middle of the workweek. Not only are we just the three of us, but the menu is far less traditional. Absent will be the typical chicken soup with matzo balls, brisket, mashed potatoes and even apple cake.

Even though the menu will be different, and some of our loved ones far away, I recognize that I will this evening be replete with joy, happiness and hopeful that this new year brings health and happiness to my family and the families of those I love.

There is also another reason to celebrate the new year — today mark’s my nephew’s first day of school. Typically, I wouldn’t mention this here. However, this isn’t just any typical first day of school; He is starting fourth grade in a new school — and I am thinking about him. A new school is a big deal and this one presents many great opportunities and possibilities. All children deserve an exceptional education but not everyone seizes opportunities they are provided with. I have no doubt he will.

So there you have it : new year, new beginnings. L’Shanah Tovah!

We don’t dine out or take in much. The philosophy behind that is simple: it is cheaper (usually) to cook yourself and you know what ingredients went in. We also believe that dining out should be reserved for special occasions and not for the sake of being lazy to cook at home. Lastly, why go out if you can make it or something better yourself? The only exception to that are ethnic foods that we wouldn’t do justice to at home (e.g. sushi).

We do, however, have a weakness for take-in from a mom-n-pop shop (aka Baba and Deda). When visiting, my parents bring a cooler, a BIG cooler, of delicious foods which we treat as if they were precious delicacies from the Orient. Evan and I agree that while some things like my mom’s famous sous are just plain old delicious, they are not the delicacies we equate to edible gold. Blintzes stuffed with vanilla perfumed farmer’s cheese or savory ones with meat, home-made chicken soup, perfectly seared chicken cutlets, hand-formed deep-fried pirogies stuffed with potatoes or cabbage, and last but never least, strudel are worth their weight in gold at our house.

Most of those items take a long time to make and years of continuous practice to get right. No matter how much I’d like to, I won’t be able to produce crepes as paper thin as my mom for the stuffed blintzes. Evan encourages (okay, sometimes demands) that I cook more Russian dishes at home and learn all the recipes from my mom. It’ll be years before anything I make from my mom’s repertoire is as good as hers, but I suppose I can try. Until then, every last blintz is carefully doled up and little Sophia gets first dibs on anything and everything Baba makes.

I only wish we lived closer so that my blintzes didn’t have to be frozen, but rather delivered fresh.